It has been a while!
What with the Summer, a few fantastic guest bloggers and generally life just running away from me I have not found the time to sit down with my laptop and pour out my emotions. I think I’ve also been scared that once I start typing I just might not stop as I find these blogs very therapeutic.
As I type this I am sitting on the sofa having put my son to bed, placed his school uniform out for the morning and kissed him goodnight knowing that tomorrow one of the biggest adventures begins for him. His world will change tomorrow, his mind will be ignited in the coming years, he will learn so much about our world. Some things will blow his mind, some things might frighten him, some things might even disgust him, but everything will play a part in how my little baby will grow into a man. I am not really the biggest fan of change in general but on this occasion, I am so excited for what lies ahead.
I am lucky enough to truly say I loved my school days (bar a blip of a year after my primary school where I went to a fiercely competitive all girl’s school and felt like a fish out of water). But otherwise I enjoyed it all and fell in love with reading, writing, maths, drama, music, making friends, playing, sports days, I even liked homework (I was a little bit of a bookworm as a child!)
Over the past 4 years, I have watched my little boy learn so much about the world, his inquisitive little mind questioning things that he notices in his day to day and school will aid this inquisitiveness further. I wish for so many things for my children with their academic school years ahead. I want them to love learning and not find it a chore, I want them to find their passions and nurture them, and I want them to find incredible friends who they can grow with together and support each other throughout the years ahead. I am still best friends with those I made at primary and secondary school and these friendships shape so much of our life journeys.
As an adult watching all these changes unfold I feel incredibly emotional. Knowing what lies ahead and the path my son will pave is making me fast forward the years thinking of how he will grow in the school system. Of course, as a 4-year-old boy, he is simply living in the now, excited to see his teachers again, who last week came to visit him at home. Excited to wear his new uniform and adorn his new book bag with keyrings he has been collecting over the Summer, and excited to play with new friends that he met briefly in the park a few weeks ago.
Even this innocence and living in the present makes me emotional, hoping that it can forever stay this way but knowing that somewhere along the way worries creep into our minds that start making it worry about the past and the future. I watch my children not dwell on the past or fear for the future and I try to learn from them. So tomorrow I am excited for my son. Yes there will be tears (most definitely from me once I walk away and he can’t see, hopefully, none from my son, perhaps some from my husband, and most definitely from my daughter who hates being apart from her big brother after a long Summer together).Yes there will be the obligatory first day of school picture (we shall see if he cooperates for this! Fingers crossed) But most importantly Yes I am embracing change tomorrow and accepting that my babies are growing so fast, and as much as it breaks my heart a little each landmark we get to and how fast time is flying, it swells it too as I see their personalities and minds expand and I feel proud as punch I get to go on these journeys with them. Plus I’m really really excited to get stuck into homework. I’ll have to be very strict with myself to not actually do it for fun! Told you I am a bookworm at heart.
For someone who doesn’t love change, there has been a heck of a lot of it recently. Last week I settled my daughter into nursery, which she is loving, although drop-offs are heartbreaking with the tears, these stop immediately after I leave. My son used to be the same so I’m confident this will stop soon. She was so ready to be around other children and play and grow, my sassy little sweet pea is growing at ridiculous speed. They say this happens with the second but I never imagined it would pass in a blink like this! It will be her at the school gates I’ll be seeing off in no time. Now that is a scary thought!
Thanks for stopping by and if you have little ones starting school I hope all goes smoothly for you!
Lots of love Carly
P.S. Whilst writing this, the son that I put to bed decided to sleepwalk for the first time in his 4 years of life. Never a dull moment!
PPS. It is now Sunday night and I can confirm there were SO many tears on Wednesday – a few from my son and a ridiculous amount from me. I shocked myself that I couldn’t hold it together until I left him but something came over me and I let the floodgates open. Thankfully he didn’t see and my husband took over. However, there have been NO tears since and he is LOVING it! Next week is the first full week with long days so praying this happiness lasts. Feeling very much like a school mum suddenly. Crazy days!
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